Physics does not care about hurt feelings. It cares about whether you got the rocket right.277
All bad news should be given loudly and often. Good news can be said quietly and once.278
I give people hardcore feedback, but I try to always focus on the substance of the discussion. I try to criticize the action, not the person. We all make mistakes. What matters is whether a person has a good feedback loop, can seek criticism from others, and can improve.279
It’s not your job to make people on your team love you. In fact, that’s counterproductive. I had a manager who would not fire anyone. I told him, “You can’t tell people they have to get their shit together, and when they don’t get their shit together—nothing happens to them.”
Camaraderie is dangerous. It makes it hard for people to challenge each other’s work. There is a tendency to not want to throw a colleague under the bus. That needs to be avoided.
Wanting to be everyone’s friend leads you to care too much about the emotions of the individual in front of you rather than caring about the success of the whole enterprise. Focusing on that one individual can lead to a far greater number of people being hurt.280
I think it’s a real weakness to want to be liked. A real weakness.
And I do not have that.281