SpaceX is in this for the long haul and, come hell or high water, we aSpaceX is in this for the long haul and, come hell or high water, we are going to make this work.624
I thought if we couldn’t get to orbit within three failures, we deserved to die. That was my going-in proposition.625
In 2006, our first rocket landed a couple hundred yards away from the launch site in tiny fragments. The second attempt failed too. But, we got further each time.626 In 2008, we had the third failure in a row of the Falcon rocket. I had only budgeted for three attempts.627
That’s when I split all the money I had left between Tesla and SpaceX. It was enough to afford a fourth launch at SpaceX, if we moved super fast.628
I collected everyone in the conference room and said, “We have one last rocket. Get your shit together, go back to the island, and launch it. You have six weeks.”629
Here was my email to the team: “There should be absolutely zero question that SpaceX will prevail in reaching orbit and demonstrating reliable space transport. For my part, I will never give up and I mean never. Thank you for your hard work. Now, on to flight four.”630
If we didn’t succeed, we would be pointed to as a reason people shouldn’t even try these things. We must do whatever is necessary to keep going.631
I don’t ever give up. I’d have to be dead or completely incapacitated.632
It was an interesting exercise in karma. After I got ousted by the PayPal coup leaders, I could have said “You guys suck,” but I didn’t. If I’d done that, Founders Fund wouldn’t have come through with an investment in SpaceX in 2008 and the company would be dead. Karma may be real.633
If the fourth launch hadn’t worked, that would have been curtains. I had no money left. It was a pretty close thing. We would have joined the graveyard of prior rocket startups.634
I thought the odds of the fourth launch working were better than 50 percent. There was just a little change in the thrust transient of the first-stage engine we couldn’t see on the ground. That made the difference. Fortunately, the fourth SpaceX launch worked.635
We almost went down as the company that made it to orbit, then died.
When it worked, my cortisol levels were clinically high. I couldn’t feel celebratory. There was no jubilation. I was too stressed. Getting to orbit meant, “Okay, we’re not going to die today.” We’ll live a little bit longer. I just felt relief.636
But it was short-lived. We were still in a tough position. It was not like we had customers lined up. Even the fourth launch working wasn’t enough to succeed. We also needed a big contract to keep us alive.637